How many of you lose your temper or gets angry very frequently and easily? There will be times when things won’t go your way. There will be times when other people will do certain things that go against your values or expectations. Anger is a natural human experience, and sometimes there are valid reasons to get angry like feeling hurt by something someone said or did, or experiencing frustration over a situation at work or home. But uncontrolled anger can be problematic for your personal relationships and for your health.
When you are angry you lose control of your rational mind, you stop thinking rationally. Instead, you react emotionally to circumstances as you lose all sense of reality and perspective. The majority of anger and frustration in life, no matter what the situation, has at its basis one simple thought….IT SHOULDN’T BE THIS WAY. We all go through life with our own personal set of ideas about how we think things should work out; how we think people should treat us, etc. We believe that our rules are right and the other person should do it the way we want. At the basis of all conflict is the idea that one person believes another person should change. We surround ourselves with other people who have similar rule books because it is more comfortable to be around others who view the world in a similar way.
When things aren’t going our way, we can start to feel we are losing our sense of control. If someone is behaving in a way you don’t like; it means they are simply following their own rules. You have the ability to control your thoughts and actions but you don’t control the rules other people. There are two categories of anger-People Oriented Anger– This form of anger is often very unhealthy and can cause a lot of emotional harm, problems, and heartbreak because of the expectations from person. Self-Directed Anger- is an anger that has more to do with you. It is an internal sense of dissatisfaction within you. This form of anger is often unhealthy and can cause a lot of instability that you punish yourself for something you did or failed to do.
There are better ways to respond to these situations, you can calm yourself down by listening to relaxing music, by using affirmations, by counting backward from 10, by breathing deeply. Once you are calm, remind yourself about your goals: What were you trying to gain? Maybe your expectations are unrealistic Accept the fact that you might actually be wrong and could have made a mistake. Be truthful with your responses. .Instead of suppressing your anger release it in positive and productive ways. You can release your anger through exercise, by hitting a punching bag, by talking with someone about your feelings, or by writing your thoughts down in a journal.
You will make mistakes. You will fall back to old uncontrollable habits, and behavior. But that’s okay. It’s all a process of learning. New habits are not built overnight; they are built with some dedication, persistence, patience, and effort over time. You will need to be willing to make some changes and adjustments to your lifestyle. No matter what happened it’s important to forgive yourself, otherwise you will continue to make the same mistakes again. Let go of the past and focus on a brighter future where you are in conscious control over your emotional responses !